Thank you to Erin for coming up with that phrase. I have to say that last night I listened to Peggy Nolan, Teresa Thompson, and Erin Erickson on blogtalk on a “radio” show called the The Stepmom’s Toolbox Radio Show and I was rocked. One of the ironic things I heard was the fact that each person felt some sort of responsibility to the child over and above what was needed and that the ladies needed to rescue or fix the problems of the family. I had to truly agree with that statement. How many times did I do something because I can “fix” the problem? How many times did I believe that I was the better parent? How many times did I think my thinking was superior? I did it so much that I am ashamed to admit, but being honest with myself and you, I can say that I was the problem. Something I have heard over and over and it’s actually written on my computer. Peggy Nolan’s stepson’s therapist told her that she didn’t break the child; it wasn’t her responsibility to fix the child. Her job was to love her child. The first time I heard that I was taken back. What did the therapist mean? First, I didn’t love this child, how could I love a child that was nothing but disrespectful to me and my thing? How could I love a child that tried everything to get between hubby and me? How can I love someone that wrote hateful things about me on the internet and told people nasty stories about me? I didn’t have the unconditional love for the child, so I did some more reading and research and found out that I didn’t even have to love the child. I could respect the child and be polite, but I needed to allow that love to grow. WOW, just WOW!!!! So I didn’t have to run around and try everything possible to make things happy and wonderful. All I had to do was be the best person I could be. There is lots more to come, but it’s actually time to earn my paycheck. Have a good day everyone.
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