Another day, maybe a few dollars

To give a little background, I am a disengaged Stepmom. You see with so much that has happened in the year I’ve been a Stepmom I’ve taken a step back for my own sanity. And when I say things have happened I mean nasty, spiteful, down right disrespectful things, from SD and hubs not putting his foot down and letting a lot of these things go. There was not choice as far as I could see but to step back and take care of myself and my marriage.

So today hubs text messages me, SD wants a ride from her mom’s house to the high school so she can watch a game, from there her friend’s mom will pick her and her friend up and they will spend the night at the friend’s house and I would need to pick her up in the morning. Hubby thinks this is a great idea; we can have the night alone. For me it means an extra 30 minutes of driving in traffic tonight and another 45 minutes of driving tomorrow. Hubby has a rule, if SD doesn’t have a 3.0 GPA or better she does not get the extras, this means no friends over if we have to pick them up or drop them off, no driving her extra places, no going out of our way to make things nice for her. She has not had a 3.0 GPA for over a year and hubby lets her do things, as long as he doesn’t have to drive her. But now, since she knows I’m the one driving, she wants me to drive everywhere, oh no, not happening. After several messages back and forth my compromise was this, taxi fair to the high school from our house is $16, taxi fare to and from our house to the friend’s house is $32, so I will do both for $48 in cash. Hubby asked if she can work it off. The problem with that is in the past when we allow that she doesn’t do very good work and it’s not worth what we paid, so I said no, she can’t do the work before the trips and her credit sucks, so I need the cash up front.

You see I believe this, if you don’t treat someone well then you forfeit anything they would do for you. It’s called Karma. The way I was raised was you treat others how you want to be treated. It was my job in the beginning to treat everyone how I wanted to be treated, and I did. SD and Hubby were treated very well. To repay me for this I found postings online from SD saying how evil I am how I’ve changed her dad, what a bitch I was, and so forth. There is a sign in her room saying “I HATE STEPMOM”, with my actual name. Hubby talked to her about it, tried to get to the bottom of it, but there were no consequences to her actions. She was allowed to treat me rudely, she was allowed to ignore me, and now I’ve been reduced to “she” when SD talks about me. Yes, my hubby is a Disneyland Dad, yes that is something I am trying to let go, yes there is resentment that has built from that. So now it is my turn to stand up for myself. You see, anyone in my life who has treated me badly has either had to apologize and make up for it or I’ve cut them from my life. That’s just how I roll. If I treat someone badly I know I have to make up for it or they might cut me from their life, but a stepchild cannot be cut from your life, you have to live with them unless you want to get divorced. My husband is the sweetest man I know. I adore him when it is just the two of us. Last night I had to work late and he had the animals taken care of, dinner made, and he was the man I fell in love with. I remember why I married him and why I fell in love with him. Most of the time it is not an issue. It is when he forgets to put our marriage first that we fight. When he forgets that I am the one around all the time and I will (or should) be the one around when the child grows up and moves out (please GOD let the child move out) we get into these situations. He has to be told when he is doing this and he can see it after the fact, but he can’t see it when he is doing it. So now, once again, I’m the evil wicked Stepmom.