Being a parent

So all hell broke loose Thursday night. It started the night before with hubby about the child, the 14 year old daughter that wanted to go to Hawaii with a 14 year old boy and his parents, for only $325 from dad. TM would pay half if he would pay half. Now everyone doesn't know the whole story regarding the history, but this child doesn't turn in homework and doesn't have the grades dad requires and that's a lot of money, but according to sd, it's not that much. You know what, when I read some of the text messages she sent her dad, the man I love, the man that stands right by me and is my partner, I wanted to slap her so hard. You don't want him to be your dad, to freaking bad. He makes you life hell, well you don't make things easy for us. And she compaired herself to me. Wth?? So you know what, she wants to do everything I get to do she can work and do everything I do. So I'm still out of town at this point so I tell hubby to just forward me the text messages so I can see the line of thinking and to see if I can dig his a$$ out of the hole he just dug. He sends me the second half of the text messages and I'm fuming because he is catering to her. Here is the transcribed text messages with my thoughts:
SD: Can you pay for half of a round trip for me to go to Hawaii? Please!!!
SD: Nevermind.
DH: Lols. When r we going?
SD: I was going to go with 14 YOB family. But that is when Aunt is coming.
DH: Hawaii or family? I'd .... (#1, she just said she was going with a 14 year old boy and his family, red flag anyone?)
SD: What do you mean?
DH: I'd go to Hawaii (Why would you tell your daughter to go to Hawaii with a 14 year old boy?)
SD: With me and 14 YOB?
DH: Yes. Does 14 YOB have a sister?
SD: His mom is going. (Here I would ask, anyone else, just him and his mom)
DH: I was wondering if u r the girl 14 YOB’s mom doesn't have
SD: I am. Mom is still thinking about me going, so can you think about giving me half for the plane ticket. That is all i need. But i need to know soon
DH: So how much is half? (NO, I don't think it's a good idea for you to go to Hawaii with a 14 year old boy, end of story, no more text messages!)
SD: Around 20
DH: I can do 20 dollars
SD: I meant 200...sorry
DH: Oh 200. Let me think on that. When do u need to know?
SD: Friday at the latest
DH: I will let u know Thursday
SD: Kay, thanks:)
DH: Np Good night.
SD: Love you:) (Sucking up much!)
DH: Luv u
SD: It looks like the tickets are going to cost about 362 or around there. Plus i would need half of the money for other expenses like food entertainment an d other stuff which you be around 250. The whole trip with tickets and expenses would be around 650, there for i would need you to say half which it like 325. Please please please!!!
DH: So when r u going? (Right here hubby tells her she can go)
SD: Jan. 28 though Feb. 3
DH: U miss five days of school?
SD:Yeah, but i would take all my work with me get it all done on the plane and at night and before i leave. And its the last week of the semester, so we do nt really do anything. (She can't get work done when she is home, how the hell can she do it when she is gone!!)
DH: Is all ur homework in now? And when is Aunt coming?
SD: That weekend when im gone. But mom said it was fine that i went. (NOTHING about the homework question)
DH: So I get u the next two weekends after u come home? And what about ur homework? Yes, and im talking to teachers tomorrow, and looking at my grades now.
DH: Ur grades are C's and ur missing homework?
SD: Huh?
DH: How much homework is not turned in?
SD: Just photo class, but im almost caught up (Checked the web site, lies lies lies)
DH: Here's the deal. If u can get a note from each teacher saying ur getting a B in their class for the quarter, I will go half. Other wise u will have to what ur mom doesn't.
SD: How would i pay?
DH: I don't know, what have u saved up?
SD: Not that much. Only like 85
DH: Ask your mom if u can earn the rest.
SD: I have she said she wont go for it!
DH: How about the money I give her for u. U can ask for that.
SD: Ill try.
DH: Anything u can do for Other Aunt and Uncle? It's short notice to earn it here
SD: I dont think so!!
DH: U r gonna have to convince ur mom that u will earn it then
SD: Why cant you just pay for half? Its not that much. I am trying everything to go.
DH: Because u don't have a B average and u haven't earned it. I don't know 14 YOB’s parents and you couldn't go to Arizona when I was paying for it all.
SD: Thats because i would have been all alone the whole time, and it was for too long.
DH: Ok. What about the grades?
SD: Im working on them!
DH: Ok. Let me know. Time for bed. Gn, luv u
SD: Love you too.
SD: Mrs. Tate wasnt school today. Ill talk to her in the morning. Can you just please give me money for the trip?
DH: No
SD: Why?
DH: Cause I said no
SD: This isnt fair!!!
DH: That's right! Not fair to me or ur mom. U want to get something for nothing. What's ur mom and I getting out of this?
SD: No its not fair for me!!! Mom wants me to go she even said. You are the only reason i cant go!! Trouble gets whatever she wants and gets to go where ev er she wants and i want this one thing!
DH: I'm sorry that's the way u feel. Why doesn't m just pay it all?
SD: My mom cant!!! She has to make huge house payments by her self, she can only pay for half of it!!
DH: We all make choices.
SD:Because your my dad and i am asking for one thing that i want to do and my mom cant pay for it all? So, your choice is to make me even more upset with m y life, and with you? What a great choice on your side.
DH: And what about ur choices?
SD: What about them? Yeah, i admit to making bad ones, but im a kid its what i do and i learn from them. Why cant you just be there for me! Im asking for on e thing!! Its all i want! Plus you havent made the best choices either.
DH: I have asked u to get a 3 avg. Ur grades, as of today when I checked r 2 d's, 1 a, 2 b's, 1 c. Not even close. I luv u and want the best for u. Gotta go now. If u want I can text u later
SD:Fine!!! Dont talk to me anymore! Bye
SD: No, never mine im not done. I dont understand why you are making my life horrible. I dont get why when i ask for something you always so no then your wife asks for something and its aways a yes right away. I am asking for one thing!!! And my mom is trying everything to let me go, and you just say no, be Please please please just let me go!!! Dad please!! Im beging you!
Just let me go!! Please, its not that much!! My mom is paying for half as long as you do! I want this so bad. Now im done. cause im not a good kid or a good person. You have no idea how i feel about this right now. I dont think i have wanted anything more than i want this!!
DH: No. For one, Trouble makes her money. I don't pay for her to go have fun. Second I have a real problem with u going away with a family I don't know. I have a problem with u missing school when ur getting d's. And this isn't one thing. It's the thing u want right now. My house my rules. I don't think it's in ur best interest to go. So finally no

So the best part is I'm fuming mad, over the whole thing. I told hubby if he didn't want her to go to JUST SAY NO. He has a hard time telling her no, I asked him and he agreed. He can't tell her no. He can't tell me no either but I also don't ask for things we can't afford or would put him out. I'm actually considerate of him. But she is his baby girl, but I DON'T WANT TO RAISE HER CHILD. Sending her to Hawaii with a parent you don't even know is just asking for trouble. GRRRRR. So things are changing in my house!! I'll let you know how it goes on Wednesday when we have her. :) I'm just the evil wicked stepmom.