My how times have changed

This weekend I started to think about the things going on in my home and I started to wonder when things had changed so very much. You see, I am a child of divorce, just like my step daughter. My dad married again when I was about 7 and divorced again when I was about 9, moving my brother and I to a whole different neigherhood and to a different school. Things were hard on me, as a child, because I had no friends at this school and I am a very interverted person, so my shyness was mistaken for being a snob and I had a HARD time making friends, to the point I got chased home from school by bullies until I learned to fight, then I was in a fight every week for a few months until I proved myself. Then I became the tough girl, no one and nothing could hurt me. I just didn't care, I tried to make friends (and I made a few VERY close friends) but if you weren't a part of my life then I didn't care that you existed. I didn't care what people thought, except for my few close friends, so I did my own thing. The difference was at home, I was a totally different person at home, I wasn't tough, I didn't talk back, I was the "perfect" child. I did my homework (graduated with a 3.82 GPA) I did all my chores and I did them right the first time, thanks to dad not being soft on me at all, if it wasn't right I would continue to do it until I got it right. By the age of 12 my brother and I were doing laundry for the family, cooking dinner, and cleaning the house, while maintaining a high GPA and getting academic awards left and right, my brother got way more awards then I did, he is and will always be a brain. :) I never thought my dad didn't love me because he was strict or gave me chores to earn money to buy what I wanted. You see, my dad was fair, yes, we cleaned and cooked and did everything to make the house run, and for that we recieved $20 a month (not a lot by today's standards but to us it was a whole lot of money). $20 a month to help make my dad's life easier and to make it so when he came home he didn't have to do it and we can go have fun. My dad played softball on Thursdays and that was our night out to have fun, dad didn't make us pay for the games we played or the things we did that night, it was an added bonus and his way of thanking us for our hard work. I NEVER yelled at my dad or slammed doors. I never tired to make him feel guilty for our lot in life or for the fact that he got divorced. My dad wouldn't have put up with it if I did. When he remarried when I was 16 things changed again, but that's a different posting.
So the child is 14 and doesn't believe she has to do a damn thing in the house, including treating others with respect. She demands that we respect her, but she won't give it back. When I look at the things she gets to get away with and how my life was I wonder, when did raising kids become kids telling the adults what to do?