Saturday, January 29, 2011
My Own Crap
Today I've been thinking a lot about my own crap. Last night, after I got home, I started looking around and figuring out square footage of rooms and other stuff. I was working myself into a state. When hubby came home I pounced, man did I pounce. He finally said STOP!!! Let me relax for 5 minutes before you start dumping on me. Me, big eyes and wow, just wow. I said I was sorry, he was right, I needed to let him come home and get changed and relax before I started throwing ideas at him. So I went and sat down and practically bounced, waiting for him to say okay, I can deal with this now. I went over the reasons why the child has the master suite (master suite because it has it's own full bath while our has a half bath). His reasoning, because she always has had that room. His reasoning was he didn't want her to have to share with two men (Brother in law and hubby), and the floor needs to be reinforced in order to take the weight of his bed. Okay, so I asked what was his plan when we reinforced the floor. His plan was always let her have the room. Why I asked. Because she has always had that room. I told him that we shouldn't try to improve her behavior because she's always been a rude bitch. He didn't like that so we went back and forth. He said I wasn't being logical and I said neither was he, just because something has been done a certain way or a person has been in a room for almost two years (yes, that is her ALWAYS having that room) that doesn't mean things can't change. I told him that she has been a bitch to me for 3 years so should I just accept she is a bitch to me? Anyway, he finally saw the light and told me that he actually knew the room was better for us (it has a bigger closet and my clothes are currently hanging in another room) and the fact is since the child is with us 6 days a month it is to much for a child. Here's where my own crap comes in. I had to share a bathroom my whole life with other people, and as the adult and the one paying the freaking bills, if anyone gets their own bathroom it should be the adults. Yes, my own jealousy over the fact that I am the adult and I have to share while the child in the house, and not a respectful responsible child, gets to have a bathroom she shares with no one and a shower my husband bought because he loves the shower, but he doesn't get to use it. I'm sorry, NO CHILD WILL RULE MY HOUSE. So hopefully hubby sticks to his guns and actually tells the child that the room is off limits and we will reinforce it and move into the room. And if we don't that's okay, at least hubby can use the shower he paid for and use that bathroom and I don't have to share. :)
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Doesn't seem right that someone that's only there 6 days a month and can't even act respectful when she's there gets the big room. There's 2 of y'all. I would however, offer that if her attitude changes, you'll re-do the smaller room for her and let her do some decorating. Might be a project that you 2 can do together to help y'all do some bonding and... you could let her earn decorations for the room as a reward for better behavior/attitude.
ReplyDeleteI like Amy's idea of letting SD redecorate the smaller room to suit her tastes. Regardless of whether she's "earned" it. She's been in the big room for 2 years. You come along and then she gets booted out, thereby making her feel like the unwanted, unloved stepchild. If you want the big room back (for yourself or guests), I suggest you do it in a way that doesn't slight your SD. I would let her pick her favorite paint color, bedding, curtains to match her new, smaller room.
ReplyDeleteI guess I should explain. The rooms are exactly the same square footage, just minus a full bathroom. And the reason she is losing the room is because of the disrespect towards her dad and her not caring that she was disrespectful. Hubby decided on her losing her room and I'm all for it. It's not like I just moved in and all of a sudden she is acting out. Her lying goes back for several years, her behavior has gotten worse, not better, and the more I try to do things with her the worse she got, so I stopped. I have no problem with her earning the right to decorate her new room, but until her attitude changes I don't believe she should be given anything. In the adult work if she disrespected her boss she would be out of a job and she would lose her house/apt. Real natural consequences to her behavior.
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